You’re Garbage

As I say in this week’s Dustinland comic, being a sanitation worker is probably not the horrible future you were meant to believe it would be as a child. I think I read there is a 5-year waiting list to get the gig in NYC. Or that they only hire 500 new people a year, meaning that statistically it’s harder to get into garbage than Harvard. It does look rough though, physically speaking. I would imagine these dudes are pretty broken by the time they retire. Which is probably at a relatively early age but still, hard to factor in that kind of wear and tear into your salary and benefits. Also it’s probably pretty stinky and dirty. But you know, until Scott Walker has his way with the rest of the nation, it should be a nice blue collar union job that lets people support a family. Imagine that.

PS I shouldn’t always say dudes and men since once I saw a woman sanitation worker. Seems pretttttttty rare though.

Insanity

As I say in this week’s Dustinland comic, having kids really is great, even though it sometimes drives you insane. But overall it’s totally worth it. This particular strip was driven by a particularly difficult bedtime that in total took over an hour and a half. You really do feel like you’re losing your grip on reality when you spend so much time arguing with a completely irrational creature that is only a fraction of your size and strength, yet somehow is able to control so much of what you do.

But I really do like to get soon-to-be parents excited about it. I hate those parents who try to scare you with that whole ” your whole life is about to be over” thing. Even if you believe it, why would you put that on other people who are trying to balance nervous anxiety with joyous excitement? I guess you could say that’s exactly what I’m doing with this comic, but hey, I needed a quick joke on a Sunday night.

I Just Can’t Say

No point in writing any more about this week’s Dustinland comic, considering it’s already a pretty lengthy rant in itself. But yeah, pretty self explanatory. I would imagine you either love it or hate it, depending on your political views, so feel free to heartily agree or to troll me mercilessly. Either way, good times.

The 6 Stage of Dead Phone Battery Grief

As I say in this week’s Dustinland comic, when your phone dies and you’re not in the position to recharge it, at first you panic. But eventually you accept it, and at that point you are finally alive again. No email or texts to harass you. No Instagram or other time wasting social platforms or apps to distract you. Just life. Slow and beautiful. The moment. Be in it. Enjoy it. One day we will surely all be interconnected cyborgs, or living in a post apocalyptic wasteland. Either way, enjoy your rare moments of life without a phone. You may become more fleeting than you could imagine.

Neutral

Like I allude to in this week’s Dustinland comic, it’s so funny watching every parent try to raise their kid gender neutral. I tried with mine. You know, no pink or blue. Dolls or trucks. That sort of thing. It’s a nice thought. The funny part comes when you realize it doesn’t seem to matter much. Kids just gravitate toward what they want, no matter what you do.

I have a friend with two boys. He’s a big time comic book nerd. His boys are following in his footsteps. They then had a girl. Not only did they try to raise her gender neutral, if anything, she was surrounded by action figures and super heroes, so it was basically the reverse. The result? Today she won’t leave the house without a princess dress.

My kid was the same way. I never told him what to like. He just went for trains, trucks, “shooters” and every other cliche boy thing. There’s just something in there, in their DNA that makes boys and girls like certain things. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t leave it up to them or that we shouldn’t fight against traditional gender stereotypes. That’s all good too. But future parents — be ready to not be too surprised.