Coffee Quandry

Today was a non coffee day for me, although not as bad as the one pictured in this week’s Dustinland comic. I don’t know – why is it that everything fun is somehow bad for you. I wish I could just drink a ton of coffee and get amped up every day, drink a few beers or some whiskey to wind down at night, then pop a Benadryl and sleep like a baby every night. But I can’t do that because that would be unhealthy and all addicty. And then it would stop being fun because it would become a routine. Blah blah blah no fun. I guess when you abstain from things it makes it more fun when you give in. Good times.

A Week In The Life of A Modern Parent AKA Why I Don’t Work Out

I didn’t have much time to draw this week’s Dustinland comic, which is why I drew a comic about not having much time—although drawing this comic may have taken me more time than a regular comic would have anyway. But I didn’t have any brain power left. That’s another thing that comes along with lack of time. Lack of mind. You just hit a wall sometimes. There’s only so much you have left after work and parenthood. Sometimes you just want a beer and a Netflix.

But yeah, the whole AKA Why I Don’t Work Out part of this comic is a bummer. When could I exercise? Basically if you’re not one of those 5:00 AM types, forget it. And that’s not me. And even if it was, you have to go to sleep earlier, so really it’s a trade off, staying in shape vs not hanging out with my wife or ever doing anything I want to do for myself.

Yes, I know, it’s all very first world problems, but so is 95% of what all comedians talk about, so yeah, bite me.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I guess the father son relationship I point out in this week’s Dustinland comic is pretty common. I tease and annoy him, and in return, he busts my balls. I just don’t enjoy being called a little girl in public, although sometimes it’s so funny, even I start laughing. And you know who really loves it? My wife. She thinks it’s HYSTERICAL.

Man, dads just never win. At least we get the big piece of chicken. 

Arguing With Children

As I say in this week’s Dustinland comic, when you argue with toddlers, you really can’t win. Maybe once in a while you can win a battle—most likely thorough bribery or distraction—but you almost never win the war. They’re just too good. Too steadfast. Too on brief. They are simple in their wants and that makes it easier for them to focus on a goal.

I think I realize how silly it all is when a babysitter comes over and I have to tell her the 5,000 steps that need to be taken before bedtime. Each step was a hard won victory—for the little guy.

Eh, what can you do. One day he won’t argue with me, he’ll just call from college and ask for more beer money. Might as well enjoy it now.

Atlas Snugged

I’m not really sure what I was going for with this week’s Dustinland comic, but clearly it has something to do with making fun of Libertarians. It could either be a Libertarian children’s bedtime story, or it could be the book self-serious Libertarians should read to lighten up a bit. Either way, it was really easy to draw and I have been busier than Ayn Rand at Oscar the Grouch’s house. I don’t know what that means either but I guess that’s the theme of week.

The Keys To Happiness

This week’s Dustinland is based on a true story as told to me by a friend of mine. Obviously the last panel isn’t true but the rest is. Fun times. It makes me wonder how many wild swingers there really are out there, secretly humping their next door neighbors. A whiles back I drew an epic comic about the same topic from my own personal experiences. It was called Partners and it’s a good read. I wish I could create those kind of extra length strips more often but I barely have the time to draw one page a week, as you can see.

Anyway, enjoy your swingers.

Time Off

I pretty much say all I have to say about vacationing with kids in this new Dustinland comic. But in real life I’m not quite that negative about it. I wouldn’t say I look forward to it but I realize it’s inevitable and I recognize there could possibly be fun to be had. So yeah, vacationing as a parent with a toddler. Just another part of life we all must go through, whether we like it or not.

*By the way, son, if you are reading this, sorry, I actually really like you a lot. You’re pretty awesome and hanging out with you is super fun. You’re just three right now though, and that’s kind of not great for things like flying, eating at restaurants and anything adults enjoy besides the beach. Although we did go to a diner this weekend and you had a waffle and were pretty chill so who knows, maybe our upcoming vacation will rock.