Tag Archives: sex

Exposed

I gotta say, when Louis CK was implicated as a moltesty perv, it was really depressing. Can we have no heroes? I mean, Freud said we’re all screwed up over sex, but can’t these dudes be silently or privately screwed up like everyone else and not take it out on innocent people (I was going to say women but there’s Kevin Spacey)? Well anyway, that’s the subject of this week’s Dustinland comic. And like I say in the comic, it’s crazy, but right now every guy in America is walking around, wondering if they ever did something they shouldn’t have. And that’s a good thing, because I can only assume it will lead to less creepy activities in the future.

In lighter news, I was playing a game with my friends where we tried to figure out who would be the person least likely to be outed as a molester. My buddy said Tom Hanks and I don’t think I could beat that. Another friend said Dave Grohl, which is pretty good too, although as a rock star, I think he comes in second after Hanks. How about Viggo Mortensen? He seems like a nice guy. Have you ever seen him in a nordic sweater? Innocent, I say. Oh… wait… I got it: Stevie Wonder.

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Neutral

Like I allude to in this week’s Dustinland comic, it’s so funny watching every parent try to raise their kid gender neutral. I tried with mine. You know, no pink or blue. Dolls or trucks. That sort of thing. It’s a nice thought. The funny part comes when you realize it doesn’t seem to matter much. Kids just gravitate toward what they want, no matter what you do.

I have a friend with two boys. He’s a big time comic book nerd. His boys are following in his footsteps. They then had a girl. Not only did they try to raise her gender neutral, if anything, she was surrounded by action figures and super heroes, so it was basically the reverse. The result? Today she won’t leave the house without a princess dress.

My kid was the same way. I never told him what to like. He just went for trains, trucks, “shooters” and every other cliche boy thing. There’s just something in there, in their DNA that makes boys and girls like certain things. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t leave it up to them or that we shouldn’t fight against traditional gender stereotypes. That’s all good too. But future parents — be ready to not be too surprised.

The Keys To Happiness

This week’s Dustinland is based on a true story as told to me by a friend of mine. Obviously the last panel isn’t true but the rest is. Fun times. It makes me wonder how many wild swingers there really are out there, secretly humping their next door neighbors. A whiles back I drew an epic comic about the same topic from my own personal experiences. It was called Partners and it’s a good read. I wish I could create those kind of extra length strips more often but I barely have the time to draw one page a week, as you can see.

Anyway, enjoy your swingers.

Hot And Cold

I had all these other ideas in mind for this week’s comic until the other night, I was leaving work late and saw these scantily clad chicks on their way out for the night. It was in the 20s and these chicks both had bare legs and were clearly freezing. It just seems so silly. I was wearing full winter gear and a scarf wrapped around my face — I basically looked like either a ninja or a terrorist. Meanwhile these girls were about to hit up a Slip ‘N Slide. I just don’t get it.

Guys, sure, if you told us we could get laid, we’d wear thongs in Antarctica. But we’re desperate. You’re the deciders. No need to get frostbite just for us.

Meh. Who knows.

Boobs.

The Baby Boobie Cycle

This has got to be the least sexy comic about boobs ever. Although I bet somehow, someone gets turned on by this. Hey, whatever floats your boat.

Really though, I was explaining some of this to a single friend of mine recently, and he was in shock. He imagined it as being the most frustrating thing ever—giant perfect boobs that are mostly not for the touching. But, you know, babies change everything in that arena, at least in the earlier stages. So it’s not quite that bad. But it is kind of annoying to see this little person come along and steal your boobs away.

By the way, I would also like to say that in the grand scheme of things, us men can’t really complain about anything related to pregnancy and babies, since we pretty much do nothing the entire time. Just wanted to put that out there before some angry mom flames me.

Oh wait — one more thing. Yes, I hate stick figures in comics. So why stick figures in this one? Well, for one, I think it can be argued that these are not stick figures. But regardless, I wanted to draw a comic about boobs that was PC enough for most people to be able to read it wherever they are. I also wanted to rid the comic of the added element of sex that pops up whenever a boob is drawn in even the slightest realistic manner. So tahdah: stick figures with boobs. Good times.

Always Bet on Assholes

Now, when I say “always” i the title of this comic—and post—I’m just talking about humans. You can probably bet on nice horses and win. I mean, I really don’t know what goes on in the horse world so you’d have to ask a different person if you wanted some info that would help you the next time you head out to the track.

Really though, it was a said thing to see. It reminds me of when I went to spring break as a college junior. I went to Cancun and had a horrible because my ass was exploding pretty much the entire trip. But one night I was out at some club and they were having a boob contest and one of the girls we were hanging out with asked me if she should go up there and join it. I guess most dudes would be like HELL YEAH DO IT but I couldn’t help but blurt out, “Why would you ever do that? Do you not see the hundreds of dudes taking photos in here? Do you want to be naked on the Internet forever?” And you know what: She didn’t do it, but she was disappointed in my answer. She really wanted to. Why? I don’t know. Why do girls let themselves be disrespected and abused and sometimes even seem to like it? Why do bros feel like it’s okay to act that way? Why are people such idiots? Why are we even worried about stuff like this while the Amazon rain forest is being turned into a giant cattle ranch? Why ask why: Drink Bud Dry.

The end.

A Message From President Santorum

I know Santorum isn’t going to win and we’ll get to watch money bags robot Romney bumble his way through the rest of the presidential election, but I still felt like touching on one of his favorite subjects with this comic. Between him and Limbaugh, it’s really great to see the Republicans once again proving themselves completely out of touch with the majority of Americans. Keep preaching to the hardcore base of nutty right wingers. Keep alienating women. Your party sure has a great future if you keep it up.

As for the final panel, I’m sure I’m not the first one to point out the similarities between the Christianity and Islam—and Judiasm for that matter—when it comes to women. When you get to your harcdore fundamentalists, they all treat women like second class citizens. Makes sense: They all read the same books. And those books were written a long, long time ago.