Ride The White River Horse AKA Coke Hippos

This Dustinland comic really should just be called Coke Hippos, but that would sort of spoil it. I did have a fun time coming up with the alternate title, though. I was researching the issue and saw some article about it from quite a while back actually, and it was titled “A Hippo Critical Situation.” That’s pretty great.

But yeah, check it out. True story. Getting some press lately for some reason. Not that there’s been a hippo attack in Colombia or anything. Who knows why things suddenly blow up on the Internets. Malcolm Gladwell? Buzzfeed? Well, either way, it’s a great story, hippos running wild in a country they don’t belong. And this comic was inspired by some great fans, especially some guy named Gary who collaborated with me after I briefly mentioned Pablo Escobar’s hippos in my weekly email. Good times.

Routine Bedtime

At first I had titled this week’s Dustinland comic “Bedtime Routine,” but then I swapped the order. Why? Because any parent knows that this isn’t just the bedtime routine of one particular child. It’s routine bedtime for parents around the world. Well, I mean, I don’t know if it goes down this way in the slums of India, but lets just say I can only assume it happens in households as “privileged” as mine. Hey, kids don’t like sleeping. They like playing. So any way they can extend awake time, they’ll do it. It’s pretty amazing the tactics they’ll come up with. Ad you really do notice it most when you have a babysitter over and you start explaining the whole routine and you realize how ridiculous it all is.

By the way, I just finished doing this with mine. We start the bedtime process around 8:00 and I swear, by the time it’s over, it’s 8:45. Amazing.

2014 World Cup Bracket

Clearly this week’s comic was a quick little take on national stereotypes. I would like to point out that I did not go the nazi route with Germany. Too easy. And you know, I mean, if I was German, I’d be pretty tired of hearing about it. Talk about guilt trips people. A little genocide and no one will ever let you move on with your life.

But seriously folks, Nigeria was tough too. I drew a zebra because I know they have those in Africa. Nigeria… I know they have oil. That’s about it. So I went zebra.

Chile, they have wine and Patagonia. So I went wine. Uruguay and Argentina have meat, so there’s that. There’s a joke in Costa Rica when a pelican flies by, they say “hey, there goes our air force.” So, yeah. Tah dah. GOOOOOOOOOAL.

Draw The Line

Ironically I am writing this post as my kid freaks out. He is hysterical right now because he doesn’t want to take a nap. I actually don’t care if he naps or not, but if he doesn’t nap, he will be insane later, so it’s better for everyone if he sleeps a little bit now.

But anyway, as per this week’s Dustinland comic, kids are crazy and illogical and drive you nuts. Good times. My kid loves drawing right now but he’s too young to be able to draw anything, so usually he just scribbles and says he drew a donkey or something like that. I try not to outdraw him too much because I don’t want to make him feel bad. So far it’s been pretty successful. Usually I just ask him what I should draw. I am always amazed by the randomness of his requests. “Draw a tractor.” “Draw a strawberry.” Never any connection to what we are or were doing. It’s pretty great.

He’s crying right now so I can’t really focus, so yeah, I guess I’ll stop writing this post right now.

Father’s Day Reality

In terms of this week’s Dustinland comic… well, I always used to wonder why my dad didn’t care much about Father’s Day. Now I get it.

Happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there! Enjoy it — if you’re allowed to!

 

Bedtime AKA The Napkin Incident

After this week’s comic, I think I’ve sort of accepted it: I like drawing dad comics. I can’t help it. I draw from my life—literally. And these days my life is being a dad. That and work, pretty much, and I can’t draw comics about that. Trust me, I would LOVE to in many ways, but anything worth saying can’t be said until I retire. I used to write all about sex and dating and bars and partying and all that fun stuff, but at this point, when I go down that route I just sound like some old fuddy duddy lecturing people. So yes, expect a lot more dad comics in the future. Not ONLY dad comics, but a greater percentage, as I come to realize that it makes me happy to draw them.

As for this week’s comic, I think it excellently illustrates the frustration brought on by a two-year-old’s non-logic. That’s really when I start to lose it. The yes-nos. And this comic, it’s pretty much exactly what happened, just with less crying (him, not me). But you know, when they’re not making you want to smush your own face in, they are really cute and wonderful. Hell, even when they’re being dicks they’re still pretty great. That’s how they win. Every. Time.

Kids Rules: War

This week’s Dustinland comic is based off the whole silliness of kids and “boo-boos.” I love how one second they are crying and freaking out, and then within one second of getting a kiss—or even an air kiss—they are fine and happy again. It’s such a weird fun little game. It’s too bad real life isn’t that simple. Hence the comic!

And by the way, just for the record, I am not trying to make fun of soldiers who have lost limbs or anything like that, so please, don’t take this the wrong way if you are or know someone who this happened to, and my apologies if I offended you. Pretty much every comic I create has the potential to offend someone. But for some reason this particular instance made me feel a wee bit uncomfortable, so I guess this paragraph of my rarely read blog acts as a nice way to escape feeling bad about it. Total cop out I know but hey, at least I’m aware of it.

Really though I like the way I drew panel 2. It’s got a nice Sin City feel to it.