Tag Archives: toddler

What If I Acted Like My Toddler Does

The title of this week’s Dustinland comic was sort of tricky to write from a copy point of view. But that’s okay, I think you get the point. It’s just me running around acting like a petulant three-year-old. Fun times.

I’d write more here but it’s 7:37 am.

Until next time then, farewell. I love you all dearly.

Generation Wi-Fi: Kids and Tech

What I cover in this week’s Dustinland comic is a really complicated issue. Kids and technology. The debate has been going on for decades now, and it only gets more and more intense as technology becomes an increasingly pervasive part of our lives. It’s really tricky as a parent, but ultimately I would imagine there’s only so long you can fight it. My child is still pretty small, but I know people with older kids, and I see how it is. Hey, social media is even part of school these days. And people are making six figures playing video games professionally.

Where this all leads me is that in a broader sense, we’re really becoming cyborgs—and is that such a bad thing? But that’s a topic for a whole different comic…

Babies Are Drunk, Toddlers Are High

I’ve had the idea that babies are drunk for quite some time. It’s pretty obvious. They waddle around clutching a bottle, they babble, drool, fall over. They’re wasted. But the stoner thing featured in this week’s Dustinland comic was a recent thought. I could honestly do a whole blog just dedicated to viewing toddlers are stoners. All their weird tastes, the things they say, the scenarios they imagine, their explanations for things, the questions they ask—it’s like hanging out with a bunch of college hippie bongo players. And hey, that’s pretty awesome because hippies are funny. Sure, you don’t want to count on one to not lose their boot at a Waffle House in the middle of Tennessee, causing you to drive around from exit to exit in the middle of the night on the way back from Bonnaroo (true story) but you wouldn’t want to count on a baby to drive you home either.

Kids Are Awesome

I know I complain about parenthood a lot, but mostly because it’s funnier to whine than it is to say how awesome your life is. Don’t get me wrong—kids really are a huge pain in the ass. But mostly they’re pretty great. As in the example featured in this week’s Dustinland comic. These are the weird little moments that happen all the time—and this really did happen, exactly as I depicted it. I have no idea where “boobs” came from. It had nothing to do with what we were watching. We weren’t talking about boobs recently. It just popped out of his mouth from nowhere. And that… is hilarious.

High five kiddo.

Dad Naps

I had a lot of ideas for this week’s Dustinland comic but I was too tired to draw any of them. Seriously, it’s so cliche but parenthood and workitude just wear you out. It’s so hard to have the energy for me time without a boost from controlled substances. So I figured I draw a comic about the tiredness and my ways of attempting to avoid it. My favorite is panel 5 where I literally lie on the floor in front of my child, hoping he’ll get so immersed in his play time that he’ll forget he demanded I play with him and not notice me napping there in plain sight. It works just about neverytime.

I Scream

Such a generic title for this week’s Dustinland comic but I couldn’t help it. It just felt right. And there weren’t any other puns I liked more. But yes, ice cream trucks can be the bane of a parent’s existence. Sure, right time, right place, they’re wonderful. A kid’s smile when you tell them it’s time for ice cream—that’s golden. But usually these stupid trucks just invade your life, butting into your eating and activity schedule with their unavoidable presence. That song… it really is genius. It triggers a Pavlovian response with kids. And their hearing is better than ours so they can pick it out from blocks away over the sound of music and airplanes and yelling parents.

There’s an ice cream truck that stop literally across the street from my building every Saturday and Sunday right around 5:00. Perfect dinner ruining time. Apparently this guy has been doing this for 20 years too! Same time, same place.

We all scream.

Oh by the way, notice the more vertical orientation of the panels this week. I’m experimenting with a format that may work better on mobile. It is the number one screen these days, after all. I like horizontal better personally but who am I to argue with the world.

A Week In The Life of A Modern Parent AKA Why I Don’t Work Out

I didn’t have much time to draw this week’s Dustinland comic, which is why I drew a comic about not having much time—although drawing this comic may have taken me more time than a regular comic would have anyway. But I didn’t have any brain power left. That’s another thing that comes along with lack of time. Lack of mind. You just hit a wall sometimes. There’s only so much you have left after work and parenthood. Sometimes you just want a beer and a Netflix.

But yeah, the whole AKA Why I Don’t Work Out part of this comic is a bummer. When could I exercise? Basically if you’re not one of those 5:00 AM types, forget it. And that’s not me. And even if it was, you have to go to sleep earlier, so really it’s a trade off, staying in shape vs not hanging out with my wife or ever doing anything I want to do for myself.

Yes, I know, it’s all very first world problems, but so is 95% of what all comedians talk about, so yeah, bite me.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

I guess the father son relationship I point out in this week’s Dustinland comic is pretty common. I tease and annoy him, and in return, he busts my balls. I just don’t enjoy being called a little girl in public, although sometimes it’s so funny, even I start laughing. And you know who really loves it? My wife. She thinks it’s HYSTERICAL.

Man, dads just never win. At least we get the big piece of chicken. 

Arguing With Children

As I say in this week’s Dustinland comic, when you argue with toddlers, you really can’t win. Maybe once in a while you can win a battle—most likely thorough bribery or distraction—but you almost never win the war. They’re just too good. Too steadfast. Too on brief. They are simple in their wants and that makes it easier for them to focus on a goal.

I think I realize how silly it all is when a babysitter comes over and I have to tell her the 5,000 steps that need to be taken before bedtime. Each step was a hard won victory—for the little guy.

Eh, what can you do. One day he won’t argue with me, he’ll just call from college and ask for more beer money. Might as well enjoy it now.

Time Off

I pretty much say all I have to say about vacationing with kids in this new Dustinland comic. But in real life I’m not quite that negative about it. I wouldn’t say I look forward to it but I realize it’s inevitable and I recognize there could possibly be fun to be had. So yeah, vacationing as a parent with a toddler. Just another part of life we all must go through, whether we like it or not.

*By the way, son, if you are reading this, sorry, I actually really like you a lot. You’re pretty awesome and hanging out with you is super fun. You’re just three right now though, and that’s kind of not great for things like flying, eating at restaurants and anything adults enjoy besides the beach. Although we did go to a diner this weekend and you had a waffle and were pretty chill so who knows, maybe our upcoming vacation will rock.