“Offal is a culinary term used to refer to the entrails and internal organs of a butchered animal.”
So that’s where the title for this week’s Dustinland comes from. Sure, I wasn’t talking about animal bowels but rather human bowels, but still, you get the point. I was working on a pun. The Daily Show would have gotten away with it for sure.
In terms of the content of my comic, the girl in question is actually quite nice and I hope she never reads this. However, it is a bit inappropriate to talk about burritos and pooping at a loud volume in an open office environment full of many, many people, especially when you don’t even know the person you’re talking to. But I actually do enjoy it a bit, in a weird way. It’s just so funny and bizarre and unreal. And I like watching the dude next to me try to stifle his laughs.
Man, you just can’t beat real life for weird stuff.
Posted in work
Tagged food, health, office, work
Yup. Here’s the story about me and the security guards. Not much of a story I guess. Basically it goes like this: Some security guards at my old office were hassling me and my coworkers since one of us forgot our ID so I got mad and cursed them out. That’s it. But I mentioned it in a blog post a while ago and everyone wanted to hear all about it so here it is. Are you happy now?
Really though, why do they have to ask you for your ID once every four months when they see you every day? EVERY DAY.
So this open office seating thing isn’t as bad as I thought it would be, although my office is not quite as open as the one pictured in this week’s comic. I can see the reasoning behind it. You’re certainly not going to sit around playing Snood all day when everyone who walks by can see your computer. It can be a little weird though when everyone has their headphones on and it’s kinda quiet, even though you’re in a room full of people. I guess it’s like being in college and studying at the library (I wouldn’t know about that since I was an art/philosophy double major and I spent my time either drawing or thinking about stuff or thinking about the stuff I just drew). I think the biggest negative is obvious— the paranoia that sets in every time you do something not related to work. Like the other day when Google had its Pacman thing up. How can you not play at least once? It was just too fun. I played, but not with the joyful, carefree feeling that should come from a game of Pacman. I played like a 13-year-old who isn’t allowed to play video games when his parents aren’t home, but sneaks some gaming in every day and quickly packs it away before mom and dad come home.
But anyway, yeah, it’s tough when you’ve got the farts.
This week’s Dustinland is sad but true. A few months ago, many of us were preparing arguments to ensure big enough raises, and saying things like, “If they don’t give me at least 10% I am outta here!” But now that the economy is in the pooper, those days are long gone. Now the same people who got mad at rumors of smaller bonuses are just glad to have jobs. And when you see the person in the next cubicle packing their things into a cardboard box, well, the next time you have to stay a few hours late after work, suddenly you’re not griping like you used to. Well, at least Obama won, and hopefully that means this thing will turn around sooner rather than later – or never.
Well, I’m back from workacation (work + vacation) abroad, and sadly I have come home to freezing cold weather and a pretty sour looking economy. The latter subject shall most likely be an ongoing subject of Dustinlands in the near future, but this week you can enjoy this cute story of the indignity I am forced to undergo every day. But to tell you the truth, I actually like the whole Custin thing. You know, any attention is good attention, right? Except for being beaten by a wrench. That’s bad attention. Also, getting run over by a tank. Not good.
The People In Your Office strip is heating up on Digg today. Thanks for posting it, MakiMaki! Well, I guess now it’s only a matter of time before this strip makes its way to someone in my actual office, and then before you know it the creepy elevator guy will be giving me dirty looks. Speaking of creepy elevator guys, out of all these stereotypes, that’s the one that’s been at every job I’ve ever had. One guy was even using the lobby’s security camera to take pictures of girls. Maybe there’s some sort of creepiness requirement to join the elevator guy union. By the way, if you are an elevator guy and you’re reading this right now, I know you’re not all crazy. Well, I mean, at least I can assume that. And really, it’s got to be a tough job with a lot of ups and downs. But seriously folks. I’ll be here all week.
*** UPDATE: Dustinland was down for a while today (Wed., June 23). Apparently Digg tossed a little more traffic my way than the site was ready for. But don’t worry, I talked to tech support and everything is up and running again.***
There are some things that just send certain people over the edge, and for me, this is one of them. I mean, when someone is walking out the door at 5:00 PM, you don’t say anything other than “See you tomorrow” or “Have a nice night.” Maybe you can say “Nice to see you’re getting off at a decent hour finally,” but even that may be pushing via subtle connotations. See, I’m leaving work at the end of the day. What business is that of yours? Do you have to work late? WHOOPDEESHIT! Oh look at you, the martyr! Cry me a river asshole! First of all, how do you know I didn’t just work late every night for two months? Second, either way, SHUT UP and mind your business or I will throw your passive aggressive ass out the window, just like I did in this week’s Dustinland.
Of course in real life I’d probably just smile and make some awkward little unfunny joke. But inside I’d be throwing you out the window.
This week’s Dustinland is not necessarily based on actual people I know, but more on little traits I’ve noticed from different coworkers over the course of my cubicle lifetime. For instance – the creepy elevator guy. He’s a combination of three different elevator guys from three different buildings – and all three guys were creepy! You know, the really friendly kind of guys who are a bit too friendly to the ladies.
I can pretty much assume that people in my office are going to be asking me who is who tomorrow so I might as well go on the record now saying that nobody is anyone, although some people may have inspired some of the characters and maybe not or yes but sometimes Y 52 purple. I didn’t do it, I swear!
In other news, last week’s Puppy Face comic hit it big on Reddit and Stumbleupon and – just like I predicted it would – got more hits than all four installments of Beer and Loafing combined. That just goes to show you how long online attention spans are.