Not sure how popular this latest Dustinland comic will be, as it combines wine snobbery and late 80s rap, but hey, I enjoyed it.
Spoiler alert: Tawny ports are wines, made from red grapes, that are aged in wooden barrels, exposing them to gradual oxidation and evaporation. Grand cru is a regional wine classification that designates a vineyard known for its favorable reputation in producing wine. “Me So Horny” is a song by rap group 2 Live Crew on their album As Nasty As They Wanna Be. It reached No. 26 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 in 1989, despite/due to the explicit nature of its lyrics.
Dustinland - The Blog 
Thanks for the wine lesson. I didn’t know any of that stuff (although I did
know that grand cru literally means “great crop”).
I cook with wine but never developed a taste for it. Maybe that’s because I grew up in the Greek Orthodox Church, where they use actual red wine for communion (none of that sissy Catholic wafer shit). That means I have always associated the taste of wine with the end of an incredibly long, boring ritual accompanied by suffocation (from incense–they lay that shit on thick) and pains in the legs (from having to stand through half the service).
I’m not really much of a wine nerd either. Too much to remember. I go to Astor Wines every once in a while and buy their 12 under 12. I leave it to the experts and it usually works out fine.