Daily Archives: August 10, 2015

Babies Are Drunk, Toddlers Are High

I’ve had the idea that babies are drunk for quite some time. It’s pretty obvious. They waddle around clutching a bottle, they babble, drool, fall over. They’re wasted. But the stoner thing featured in this week’s Dustinland comic was a recent thought. I could honestly do a whole blog just dedicated to viewing toddlers are stoners. All their weird tastes, the things they say, the scenarios they imagine, their explanations for things, the questions they ask—it’s like hanging out with a bunch of college hippie bongo players. And hey, that’s pretty awesome because hippies are funny. Sure, you don’t want to count on one to not lose their boot at a Waffle House in the middle of Tennessee, causing you to drive around from exit to exit in the middle of the night on the way back from Bonnaroo (true story) but you wouldn’t want to count on a baby to drive you home either.