Hotels are weird, like I say in this week’s Dustinland comic. On one hand, they’re really fun and awesome — at least, the nice ones are. Everything seems fresh and new. You never have to clean. The beds are huge. The pillows are nice. There’s free cable. The curtains keep it darker than a cave on a moonless night. And people bring food to room and you can eat it in bed.
On the other hand, there’s grossness. The grossness of the unknown. Who was here? Who did what? In this very spot? Just last night? And who’s next door? What’s that sound? Who is doing that all night? Does anyone else have the key to my room? Can the maid just bust in at any time? What are these weird scratches on the door? Why is the food so shitty if it’s this expensive? How come the NY Post said the hotel pools in NYC are dirtier than the public pools in the parks?
Hotels. Love em or hate em or both at the same time. Either way, it’s always nice to come home.
This week’s Dustinland comic is about the selfie pole, or what I call, The NarcissiStick. Now, of course I get what they were invented for. We’ve all seen videos of people snowboarding or surfing or jumping off cliffs, and in those cases, I get it. If you’re that hardcore, you deserve the right to make awesome videos of yourself, especially when those videos can actually be quite entertaining to the rest of us. It’s when tourists are walking around NYC capturing themselves as they engage in the most mundane of activities that it becomes ridiculous.
Can you imagine how much horrible footage has been captured with these things? WOOOOO LOOK AT THIS WIDE-ANGLE SHOT OF ME STANDING IN FRONT OF A FAMOUS PIZZA PLACE!!!! Eh, I guess people have been taking bad pictures and home videos forever. Now you just don’t need to give your camera to a stranger if you want a crappy shot with you in it.
Man, this week’s Dustinland comic! I really wonder if people are going to submit their own strips. Will you? (That would be awesome.) That wasn’t the original goal of this strip, but I like where it’s gone. It sort of evolved. Basically I realized I would rather:
1 – Put out a strip without ANY words, rather than put out a strip I don’t like
2 – Put out ANY strip rather than no strip
So logically, I really didn’t have a choice. At first I was just hoping it would be some sort of avant garde statement or puzzle for people to solve. But quickly I realized it could be much more than that. Even if someone just uses this framework to brutally mock me, I would really enjoy that. Hell, in college I used to get attacked all the time. I would say fan mail was something like 70-30 maybe? But man, the haters definitely had more time! WOW people be hatin. I remember when I was working for Cracked.com when they first sort of relaunched online, and after this one article I wrote about bad rapper names or something like that, some random dude had a blog post titled “Fuck You Dustin Glick of Cracked.com.” I know this because I Google my own name—I have for years—and so do you.
Maybe I should run some hate mail next week. That would be fun. But perhaps too self-referential. I’m leaning toward the latter. You know, if I had time for more than one strip I week I would TOTALLY do that. That’s the kind of things you’re missing out on, folks.
I love my kid. I love being a dad. I really do love everything about it. Well, almost everything. Everything aside from the moments like the ones in this week’s Dustinland comic. And even with these instances of parental torture, it’s still all worth it. So why focus on the bad so often, you’re wondering. Well, simply put, it’s waaaaay funnier. A joke has to be at someone’s expense, after all. And in most of my parenting comics, the joke is on me—just like in real life.
Really though, in this comic I tried to capture and convey those moments of parental misery we all know. Even those of us without kids of our own. These public moments where everyone can feel that parent’s pain. Because it’s clear, really, there’s not much you can do besides give the kid a cookie and hope for the best.