Monthly Archives: October 2013

Muskles

If you read this week’s Dustinland comic about working out, lifting, exercising and what not, you might think I’m jealous of dudes who are really ripped. And in some ways I am. Frankly, I’m torn on the whole thing. 

Now, I definitely think it’s a bit weird when dudes get completely jacked and enormous and spend half their time drinking protein shakes and popping weird pill packs. But I wouldn’t mind being just a regular type of muscley dude. There was a brief time when I was working out quite frequently and I started to actually grow pectoral muscles and I was really enjoying that. And really, the best part of working out is the way you feel afterwards. Happier. More energized. It’s good stuff. 

On the other hand, who has the time? Man, I’m a dad. I barely have time to draw this comic once a week. Now I’m supposed to work out every other day? The only parents I know who seem to pull this off have to wake up at 5:00 am and work out before work. I just don’t think I could do that. Maybe if I lived in the woods and could go for a run through nature I’d be more inspired. City work outs just aren’t the same. 

It’s also that people are so obsessed with their bodies once they get all buff. I mean, it’s nice and all but really, who cares? What could be less original of an achievement than getting in shape? Maybe if you’re obese and you turn all skinny and toned, okay, sure, you have the right to be proud of yourself. But everyone else, big deal. Yes, lift heavy things and run around and don’t eat cupcakes all day and MAGIC you are in shape. I realize it takes motivation and self control but ultimately, who cares. 

In the end, I do want to start working out again, simply because it can’t be good to never exercise for the rest of my life. Meh. That’s the sound of getting older right there. Meh. 

The Fart

I hope my kid is never embarrassed by this fart-related comic. I mean, he is only one, so anything he does at this age should only be considered cute or funny, or perhaps painful, like when he smashed me in the face with a metal spoon not too long ago this evening. But yeah, KIDS SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS, GFFAW!

Actually, I do have something else to add. My friend taught his kids to call farts “pibbiters.” Based on the way you might write a fast sound effect: PBBBT! Maybe I should try to switch to that.

 

The fart.

The Day I Stopped Caring

Okay, this Dustinland comic about parenthood isn’t very realistic. Most dads get fat too. I left that out because I’m one of those skinny freaks. I wonder if one day I’ll get skinnyfat?

But year, I love being a dad, but it’s way funnier making fun of all the hard parts. The events pictured in this comic really did happen. We were super tired, just threw on some sweats, headed over to the grocery store, grabbed some vodka next door in a very spur of the moment “well, we’re not going to be leaving the house for the rest of the weekend so we might as well have cocktails,” and then suddenly I’m standing outside a liquor store with my wife, both of us dressed like hell, with our newborn in a stroller. And you know what — I didn’t care. That’s when I got it. As a parent, sometimes you just work too hard to give a shit what anyone thinks of you. I’m not saying I try to be that way. I like to play NYC hipster dad as often as I can. But on those rough days, you’re gonna catch me dressed like I just spent $6 at the Salvation Army.