Yeah this one pretty much speaks for itself.
1. I’m bony and not fun to lie on, especially if you only weigh 7 pounds.
2. Sometimes a fart can cure a grumpy baby and it’s pretty awesome when it does because it’s funny and because there’s no more crying.
3. Boobs. I see a lot of em. Also dicks. Well, just one. Not counting my own. You know, it’s amazing how quickly you get used to the diaper thing. Poop. Whatever. And by that I mean diapers on the baby. Diapers on me would be harder to get used to. I think.
4. Baby stuff = sturdy because America = law suits. In this case that’s a good thing.
5. Nursery water. I mean, really? I never would have guessed. I thought water was water. How about a Brita filter. Is that good enough?
6. Yeah. I’m that guy. And it feels kinda good most of the time. At least I don’t live in Park Slope.