Okay, so let me start from the beginning.
1. Dude accuses me of being a transplant but as it says in the comic, I’m born in Queens, although I moved to Astoria. So I don’t think that qualifies me as a transplant, unless you’re expected to live in the same neighborhood your entire life, asshole.
2. Yes, I didn’t mention jazz in Queens. That’s because I was only listing celebrities born in Queens, and most of the old jazz musicians, including Louis Armstrong, were born elsewhere and moved here.
3. According to your hated Wikipedia, Rodney Dangerfield “was born on Long Island in the town of Deer Park,” and Walt Whitman “was born in West Hills, Town of Huntington, Long Island,” so argue with them, dipshit.
4. Oh, sorry, I didn’t mention how Queens got its name. As another Redditor sarcastically commented, “The comic also forgot to mention the early European and Dutch settlers that lived in Queens, and before them the Native Americans. There’s also a glaring lack of discussion on the impact the ice age and glacier movement had in forming Queens.” So sorry about that. My bad. Next time I do a comic on Queens it will be 900 panels long and I will make sure to include everything ever.
5. Yes, I left out Jimi Hendrix opening for The Monkees. In fact, I left out all of Queens’ concert history, including, oh I don’t know, The Beatles at Shea Stadium. So great point, there have been good concerts in Queens. 40 years ago. When was the last one, dick? I wish there were, I really do, but one major downside to Queens these days is that there are pretty much no good conert venues. No one ever really plays Queens anymore, except for the random Sonic Youth show in a YMCA gym or something like that, or Billy Joel playing to 50,000 lame asses at Shea, which is now gone anyway. So don’t even try to talk music with me, I will out nerd you any day.
6. Rocket Park IS the fucking Hall of Science shithead. I will punch you in the face — with words.
7. My comic is mostly about Astoria? Is Jackson Heights Astoria? Is Corona Astoria? How about Chinatown or Flushing Meadows Park? Yes, sure, a few of the things I mentioned are in Astoria and Long Island City, but don’t blame me that those are two of the most vibrant and growing areas of Queens.
8. Okay, I missed Christopher Walken. You win, fuckface!
9. “Beergarden used to be awesome until the type of people who draw online comics started going there and ruining the atmosphere.” Oh, fuck you. What a dick. A guy who is clearly accusing me of being a gentrifying hipster is making a comment that is the epitome of hipsterdom: ____ was cool before everyone else liked it but now it sucks.
You know, there are a ton of asshole commentors online who can’t just say “Oh cool, I see what you’re saying. Totally. Pretty cool.” They need to prove to everyone that they know better, they know more, they’re right and you’re wrong. They’re the kind of people who when you tell them a story, they have to tell one back that one-ups yours. They’re the kind of people that when you tell them your idea, they take pleasure in telling you that someone has already thought of it. These people are best ignored as the trolls they are, but I guess once in a while it feels good to tell one of them to shut up.