The Theory of Hipster Relativity

This week’s comic was inspired by the realization that I have been called a hipster, yet I call other people hipsters. And yet everyone was right. When I went to a dive bar in Williamsburg in 2005 and watched my friend get into a fight with a wimpy little shit with an obnoxious haircut, black rimmed glasses and a skinny tie, I was right in calling him a stupid hipster. And when a guy in my office who could be an extra on The Jersey Shore looked at me and saw a tall, skinny long-haired music nerd and called me a hipster, he was right. And I’m sure when he goes home and hangs out with his friends, they call him a hipster for being a graphic designer and knowing more about fonts than most people do about anything. It’s all relative.

*Update: This strip made the front page of Reddit today. Thanks for all the love all you Redditors!

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12 responses to “The Theory of Hipster Relativity

  1. You’ve really got something here! so true! (and I totally think you’re a hipster)

  2. Eseentially Hipsters are geeks, that have conned or are trying to con people into thinking they are not geeks.

    Their thinking (mostly sub concious) goes like this:

    Nobody likes a geek (because of jelously or because of the reflection of geekdom that reminds us how pathetic and pointless our existence is) but deep down we know we are a geek. Maybe we have a work specilisation or maybe we really want to be a good parent and always think about that, maybe we have a pink mylittle pony toy fetish. Now part of us is ashamed of our geekness and if it can’t be hidden away then we will turn the situation around and make our geekyness look cool. We will try to make people jealous of us for it, or make it seem that our particular quirk is a great thing to base our existence on. We do this by shing it up in the way we dress, use jargon or cool talk, etc. Hispterdom is humans way of dealing with our geekyness and pointless existence by giving it false meaning with relative status comparison and delusion relative to our peers. This is how Dustins theory of relative Hipsterdom comes about which I have just unified with Toms theory of quantom Hipsterdom.

  3. What essentialy happens is that the hipsters out compete each other, creating a relative paradox so great whereby a sort of Hipster black hole is created, their act colapses on them sucking in all nearby hipsters making it obvious they are all geeks really. They can’t escape the gravity well of false coolness they have created and thus carry on their act even though it is obvious to all outside observers.

  4. Why does the moustache/gin guy have a belt AND suspenders?

    Is he that insecure about keeping his pants up or does this really happen in real life?

  5. I don’t think dustins theory of hipster relativity combines at all with toms theory of hipster hatred and generalization.

  6. Rummy O'Skinnyjean

    What came first the fixed speed or vintage t-shirt?

  7. You cut off this comic at just the right point. I mean, after a pipe-smoking unicorn, where else is there to go?

  8. Pingback: The Theory of Hipster Relativity | PUBLIC SCHOOL

  9. Birdy is a hipster too. His dismissive attitude is the envy of many an unwashed 28-year old living a $2,500/month Williamsburg apartment paid for by their parents.

    I always liked the Hipster Bingo, an oldie but a goodie: http://www.hipstertravelguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/hipster-bingo.jpg

  10. Is your hipster any relation to the ‘hipster doofus’ title that was pinned (or penned) on Cosmo Kramer?

  11. there’s nothing more hipster than Kyp

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