Ask A Black Dude

I hope this week’s Dustinland doesn’t bring out any asshole comments, but I’m sure it will because anything regarding race does. But really, I just wanted an answer to my question. Now, I’m sure this isn’t THE answer. It’s just one guy’s answer. But, being a black dude, he has a better grip on the situation than I do.

Anyway, it’s about 99 degrees with 150% humidity in New York right now and I don’t have AC in the room where my computer is so I think that’s all I have to say about race or anything else.


7 responses to “Ask A Black Dude

  1. Wow, great question to ask a black dude. I was at the gym a few months ago and some black dude on the treadmill next to me was talking on his phone for like 30 minutes, then when he finally got off the phone he starting singing. That’s when I told him to STFU and he was all like “Oh, you’re talking to me… you must need a friend.” And I was trying to explain to him that he was actually really rude and annoying, and breaking the gym rules cuz there’s like 20 “no cellphone use” signs plastered all over. Now I get it.

    I also now understand being looked at in disgust. I live in a vacation spot / seasonal small town for super wealthy WASPS, and being a dark-haired, fit and muscular Italian/Jewish/Irish person from New York City who is not fond of wearing pastel colors, I am often looked at in disgust. It’s like “No, I’m not a 70 year old scrawny, constantly drunk, horse-faced blonde, wearing a turquoise top and white shorts, so stop staring and get back in your Maserati or Bentley and skedaddle back to your $22 million waterfront mansion.”

    I feel like a foreigner in this WASP town, but at least by getting to know them, I have learned that stereotypes about other ethnicities are untrue or unfair, and those people who propagate the stereotypes are just doing so to deflect attention from their own wrongdoings. I live in the town where guests at the Ritz Carlton specifically requested not to have any blacks or people with accents serve them, and the hotel complied with their requests and entered it in the computer system. That’s just the attitude around here. Tony Montana’s “bad guy” restaurant rant in Scarface has new meaning for me now.

  2. Hope I don’t sound bitter and resentful. I drive a $50k SUV and get cut off by resentful rednecks in pickup trucks all the time, so I know what that’s like too. But I have a love/shock relationship with the people here – they’re really amusing and I’m in awe of how shallow and hateful they are. And they don’t know money like New York knows money, meaning they may be rich by Michigan standards, but NY is in another stratosphere… that’s the amusing part – they’re big fish in a very tiny pond. Except for Tom Golisano and other billionaires who live here and drive a Maybach to the supermarket.

  3. Bitter Scribe

    This makes me think for some reason of a TV show that aired sometime before you (Dustin) were born called “Fernwood 2nite.” It was a parody talk show with Martin Mull as the smarmy, I-can’t-believe-I’m-stuck-in-this-hick-town host and Fred Willard as his idiot sidekick. They did one segment where they interviewed a Jewish guy who had wandered into the studio under God knows what circumstances (a favorite shtick of the show) and they invited people to call in and ask him questions, flashing the number onscreen with the words “Talk to a Jew.” The first question: “How come you ain’t wearin’ one o’them beanie things?”

    Not that I’m saying you’re stupid like that. I assure you, I’m paying you a compliment by comparing your strip to “Fenwood 2nite.” That show is an under-appreciated gem. If you don’t know it, Google it and don’t miss this segment with Tom Waits. It’s the most hilarious appearance on any talk show, fake or real, I’ve ever seen.

  4. Tom Waits – nice. Man, I gotta check that one out.
    By the way, I thought of doing “Ask A Jew” but since I’m already Jewish, I can’t think of any questions to ask myself. I could do a comic about the whole Israel thing I guess but that’s just too tiring at this point. Half the internet is already full of debates on the issue. I think “Ask A Gay Guy” will be next.

  5. I am a dude with long hair. I get looked at funny sometimes too. Can I partake in an “Ask a dude with long hair” comic?


  6. I actually have long hair in real life so I can answer those questions without any assistance. Unless you have realllllly long hair. Or maybe straight Axl Rose type hair. Have you ever been confused for a girl from behind?

  7. Well I’m a black guy, and I don’t find this offensive. I too once wondered why other black guys did it.

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