How to Know if Your Child is a Democrat or Republican

There is one way you can disagree with this week’s Dustinland that I would be okay with. You could say, “Hey, it’s not just that the Democrats are mostly weak, ineffective losers — they’re actually just corrupt, career-minded pawns of the same big business interests that the other side works for.” That is an excellent point, a very real possibility, and even more depressing and cynical than what I was going for. I just went with the simple message of: Democrats are pussies. And that’s pretty much a fact at this point, except for a few dudes like Kucinich and apparently some guy named Grayson. So yeah, good luck getting anything done. I look forward to the big climate summit in December. I’m sure we won’t commit to a damn thing, as usual. Then us liberals can really start thinking about what party to vote for next time around.


9 responses to “How to Know if Your Child is a Democrat or Republican

  1. davisoftheapes1

    The simplest way to determine the party you belong to (or should belong to) is, that were your parents married when you were born? If so, you’re a Republican.

  2. point well illustrated… the republican kid even as ass-kicking toys.

    but what if the kid was a two-headed filipino baby, and one head was republican and one was democrat! ruh-roh!

  3. Don’t blame me. I voted for Nader.

  4. so that was YOU, Jerome? lol

  5. Check it out:
    30 Democrats stand up and demand a public option.
    Well, there you have it folks. Dustinland changes the course of US politics once again. You know they couldn’t stand the pressure of such scathing satire. Don’t thank me now. It’s just what I do.

  6. wtg. Dustinland is still shaping world politics.

    Personally, I couldn’t care less if someone has health insurance or not, it’s not my problem, but I have a lot of solutions:

    1. Criminalize smoking. It’s the #1 preventable cause of the most healthcare costs, diseases and deaths. Also, I hate walking down the street and having some selfish asshole blows secondhand smoke in my face.

    2. Don’t force taxpayers to reach into their pockets again. We already subsidize unsustainable social welfare programs (social security is paying out more than it’s taking in this year), why add another one?

    3. Gov’t should force large, profitable insurance companies to subsidize premiums, not the tapped out taxpayer. I can understand pharmaceutical companies needing a lot of profit to finance research and development, but insurance companies just don’t need to be making that kind of money.

    4. The government could force employers to offer subsidized health insurance to their employees. This expense is already tax-deductible, so it is already being partially taxpayer financed.

    Just don’t shift this added burden to the individual taxpayer.

    Also, I’ve noticed that people in America have the attitude that they’re just here to make as much money and get as many freebies as they can before they return enriched their home countries. They just try to milk this country for all they can. This breeds corruption and fraud, and I don’t want to pay for anything used by people who don’t love and appreciate this country.

  7. davisoftheapes1

    Hey Anonymous. I hate to tell you this, but large profitable insurance companies don’t pay taxes. No company does that provides goods or services. Insurance companies, gas stations, department stores, bargain basements, grocery stores, etc. get their money from us. They have extra expense, they go up on their price(s). We either pay for it up front or in higher prices/fees.

  8. A sure fire way to find out if your preschooler will be grow up to be a Republican, “That’s my toy!” or a Democrat, “Here, Johnny, you can play with Tom’s toy.”

    Fortunately, research continually reveals that Republicans grow up to give far more to charity than their democrat counterparts.

    Not original with me – found in David Marin’s book: This is Us, and also excerpted in Reader’s Digest (November 2011).

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